2200 Back Porch Stories

Is Marriage Dead?

2011-05-23T10:04:00.000-07:00

It's seems the question to "pop" isn't "will you marry me?" but "do we even need marriage?". If you've heard five minutes of a news report the past few days we've heard about a famous and powerful political couple calling it quits after 25 years due to numerous alleged infidelities (on his part) including one affair that resulted in a child. Of course this isn't the first high profile couple to have their marriage woes made public and there are numerous articles, blogs,celebrities and even therapists griping that marriage has outlived its purpose. Scientists state that our biology is not made for monogamy. Sociologists state that "family" is now a fluid definition no longer centered on a married couple with children.
I recently read an article by a famous psychologist who said that marriage is the chief complaint of most of his clients and it causes more stress and unhappiness than any other problem that walks through his door. He stated that as a "healer" he can no longer condone marriage and that we, as a society, need to find something else to replace marriage. He, of course, as a by thought added that naturally any children born of the new replacement-of- marriage-thing would be financially provided for by the parents. Hmmm...
As a Christian I believe that marriage was ordained of God, between a man and a woman and is and essential building block to another much maligned institution, the family. Over time, like many things God Given, man has taken marriage and changed it to suit his purposes. However, I know that many people don't believe that God is keenly interested in marriage or that he even exists. Our culture tends to look at marriage as a contract made between two people about the kind of relationship they will have "until death do us part".
What I have noticed is missing from this new philosophy of personal freedom and happiness is any shred of personal responsibility. Blaming marriage for our stress, heartache or feeling personally unfulfilled is like blaming the sun for the rise in skin cancer when no one bothers to put on sun screen. I know in our culture we like to have a fall guy other than ourselves. It's so much easier to say that the unrealistic confines of marriage are the chief reason why we cheat, lie, let ourselves go and shoot our spouse to get a payout from the life insurance instead of looking at these things as issues of integrity.
So, if we won't even attempt to keep promises made to a husband or wife why should we keep promises at all? Why is fidelity in marriage so different from Fidelity in a business deal, or confidences in a friendship? Do we really think that by ditching marriage we will all be happier, healthier people? Will we see a dramatic rise in honest politicians and CEO's once they no longer have the shackles of marriage hindering their rise in power? Will we now have scads of well adjusted children who grow into well adjusted adults because they were raised by adults who put their own sexual and personal happiness ahead of all else? Call me skeptical but I doubt it.

Cheating Our Kids

2011-05-16T08:32:00.000-07:00

I recently read an article in "Reader's Digest" by a professional "paper writer". He worked for an internet company that wrote papers and completed class assignments for college students. Shocking as it may seem that people make scads of money doing something so unethical even more shocking was the large number of students across all majors paying upwards of $2000.00 per paper to cheat their way through college.
Mr. Professional Paper Writer even shared some e-mails from his clients and quickly demonstrated why he was hired. The e-mails were a mixture of texting shortcuts, grammatical errors, and misspelling so horrendous I couldn't even understand what the students were saying. They were illiterate, at least in their written expression.
Just like any social issue this one, in my opinion, has many facets. We could debate the quality of our schools, or conditions of the family, cultural ethics and morals, personal responsibility all which, again in my opinion, contribute to a twenty something graduate student who can't write a literate e-mail. However, I want to focus on what I think is the psychological junk food of "Katie can do anything or be anything and she's entitled to it."
We start while our kids are young. Trophies for everyone. No one looses. Things that were once considered privileges TV, computer games, phones, lavish vacations are all now considered essential to good parenting. We teach our kids to expect that life will provide six figure income jobs and a spouse that will answer their every need simply because they are entitled to it. And on the occasion when reality might come a little too close to home, like having to write an actual thesis for your graduate program, you can always pay someone else to do the , uhmmm, what's that word?? Oh, yea, WORK!
There's nothing wrong in encouraging our kids to reach for the stars. This is , after all, the American Dream. But we are doing a great disservice by not teaching them that hard work and personal responsibility are just as important as the dream. Personal integrity is a must. A nursing student my pay someone to write her case studies but what happens when she's on the emergency room floor? Will the MBA who bought a pre-made thesis have any qualms about embezzling money from the company? Scary stuff for sure!

Girls Gone Wild Tours it's Positive Message Via RV Bus

2011-05-04T09:55:00.000-07:00

I was travelling 81 South outside of Winchester , VA last week on my way back from a visit to NY. Rumbling along beside me was a huge marketing RV for the raunchy "Girls Gone Wild". The entire RV was covered in giant , scantily clad "women" with size DD busts blown up to make the 50 Ft Woman look small chested. In addition to the lager than life porn-on-the-side-of-a-bus the people at GGW also included a few headlines from their self titled magazine like "How to get your woman to do dirty stuff in bed". As a side note I wondered if that article included suggestions like "pick up after yourself", "do the dishes" "go one week with out asking, 'what's there to eat?'
So, did I mention that I was traveling with Grace and Marshall? At the exact moment when the trashy RV was about to pass and I was pleading to God that there be someway my kids be spared looking at that stuff Marshall hit Grace. Thankfully, the siblings pounding each other kept them so occupied they didn't even notice porn on wheels go by. Whewww!
I do, however, want to thank the producers and models and all those that planned the slick marketing RV. Without people like you how will my daughter know that her express purpose here is to be sexual entertainment for men? How will she know that she should hate her body and pay doctors to surgically alter anything that doesn't fit your defined definition of sexual beauty. How will my son learn that relationships between men and women should be based only on sexual gratification?
The RV was brilliant! I know how difficult it must be to get your message out! The market is saturated with "adult" content as it is. But this way you take your message directly consumers no matter how young or old they might be. Classy.

Keeping it Local and Reusable bags actually work!

2011-04-20T03:57:00.000-07:00

With gas prices continuing to jump with every little hiccup in the world I'm doing more and more of my shopping right here in Pulaski. The other day I needed some garden supplies and was pleasantly surprised when I found most of what I needed less than two miles from my house at Magic Mart. Magic Mart also carried my brand of printer cartridge as well as a new battery for the riding lawn mower. So, glad I didn't have to hike to Radford or C'burg. In fact I'm trying new stores like tractor supply and dollar general in an effort to find stuff without having to go into C'burg. Sometimes I pay a little more but I think I'd pay a little more to save gas and time.
   Also loving the Dollar Tree, again less than two miles from home. The other day I found Fruitables drink boxes in packages of 3 at the Dollar Tree. I pay 3.69 for nine at Kroger. Also stumbled upon a 32.oz bag of rice for 1.00 compared to 1.79 at Kroger.
   I've discovered the joy of reusable bags! Personally, I've always missed the days of paper bags. Funny how back in the late 80's paper bags were seen as environmentally unsound and plastic was the wave of the future. My family always saved the paper bags to use for garbage, crafts, and book covers for school. Anyway, one day I had enough to the wimpy plastic bags and bought two reusable bags. Wow! Not only were they sturdy and roomy but not one ripped open on me! We're not over run with bags after I unload the groceries. Luv it! Just don't expect to see a Smart Car in my driveway anytime soon!

Parents are Stupid and That's Why We Need The Center for Science in The Public Interest

2011-04-04T10:57:00.000-07:00

I was browsing through the editorial section of the Roanoke Times yesterday (yes, I still get and read a daily paper) when I stumbled upon an interesting article called "The dark side of bright colored food" written by David Schab, professor of psychiatry at Columbia University and Michael Jacobson, executive director of the Center for Science in the Public Interest.
   Schab and Jacobson start their giant four column rant on food dyes by comparing the super market to a "fun house of hues" and aisles that "feature riotously colored processed foods". I knew exactly where these two scary food clowns were headed. The article was incredibly frightening claiming that popular food dyes have been shown in studies to cause cancer and affecting behavior in children. The "bad guys" known as Red #3, Red#40, yellow #5 and yellow#6 need to be banned by the FDA according to Schab and Jacobson who claim that scientific studies back up their assertions.
   Particularly insulting to parents everywhere was this lovely paragraph "Despite those concerns parents continued to serve up meals and stuff their children's lunch boxes with more and more processed foods colored with dyes, stoking a fie fold increase in the per-capita production of food dyes over the past 30 years." First, I'm not sure the last time Mr. Schab or Mr. Jacobson have been to an elementary, middle, or high school but the vast majority of kids buy their lunches at school on a regular basis. When I drop my daughter off to her kindergarten class room in the morning there are usually only 3-5 lunch bags on the packers table out of her class of 14 students. In addition, as a food purchaser and packer of my daughter's lunch I can assure both gentlemen that I neither "serve up" process loaded meals or "stuff" her lunch bag with deadly toxins. Again, if Mr.s Schab or Jacobson have done any shopping lately they'd find that buying processed convenience foods is generally more expensive than non processed stuff. Let's take crackers and cheese. It's much cheaper to buy a box of crackers and a block of cheese than to buy the handi cheese and cracker snacks. Buying a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter is cheaper than a Lunchable. You get the idea.
   Now, let me also say that I have bought handi snacks, Lunchables and boxed Mac N Cheese. I buy chips and gasp, cookies. My kids have been know to drink a Capri Sun or two. Mondays at our house are the busy days. Work ,School, music class, and dance class usually mean a quick dinner of sloppy joes here. But key here is that we don't eat that stuff every day. Simple common parental sense tells me when it's OK for my kids to have a treat and when to say no. I've only had nutrition in seventh and eight grade Home EC so how do I avoid Big Foods attempt to "manipulate" my perceptions with fancy and colorful food dyes? I'm savey enough to know that brightly colored foods and packageing don't always mean a better product. You get this way if you shop for food regularly.
   Let's address Mr. Scab's and Mr. Jacobson's claim that dyes cause cancer and behavior problems. I went to the Center for Science in The Public website and looked up the bad guy dyes. Surprisingly most of the studies were either done many years ago with no follow up study or the results were questionable at best. In addition Schab and Jacobson claim the the FDA released a study a week ago that concluded that synthetic food colorings do affect some children. Well, the link on the website puts you to a mammoth government document that states this:

In summary, based on the data reviewed in these publications FDA concludes that a causal
relationship between exposure to color additives and hyperactivity in children in the general
population has not been established. However, for certain susceptible children with ADHD and
other problem behaviors, the data suggest that their condition may be exacerbated by exposure to
a number of substances in food, including, but not limited to, artificial food colors. Findings
from relevant clinical trials indicate that the effects on their behavior appear to be due to a
unique intolerance to these substances and not to any inherent neurotoxic properties.

   OK, so artificial coloring MAY affect some kids that have ADHD. That's sounds different from the dire warnings sounded in the Schab and Jacobson article. Additionally, the FDA says that if there is a connection between dyes and behavior it maybe a "unique intolerance to these substances and not to any inherent neurotoxic properties." Schab and Jacobson call for an outright ban on these food dyes simply based on some inconsistent testing and this report from the FDA.
   I don't support food dyes, junk food or children gorging on nutritionally deficient foods. But I do support your right as a parent to determine what you feed your family. I'm glad that we have people who study nutrition and consumer advocacy groups that work to make products safe for every one. However, I'm wholeheartedly against using questionable science and fear mongering into scaring parents into supporting political causes.

Oh, by the way, here is the link to CSITPI website listing all kinds of chemicals found in foods and what kind of nasty things can happen if you eat them. Look for Yellow #5, and #6 Red 40 and #3 .http://www.cspinet.org/reports/chemcuisine.htm

Beach Front Vacation is Not a Good Deal.

2011-04-01T07:06:00.000-07:00

I love the beach. My family vacationed at beaches in both North Carolina and Virgina as I was growing up. Most of my fondest vacation memories are of digging in the sand, finding shells or looking for sand crabs. Even now that I'm married it's my favorite place to vacation. This year, Carl and I decided to take a beach vacation with the kids. So, I began searching for place at our favorite beach in North Carolina.

For the first few searches I was following the sensible, frugal approach. Growing up in a family of eight means that frugality is the word of the day every day. I instictively started looking at houses a few rows back from the beach as they are less expensive than and ocean front rental. I found a few good candidates and decided to check out the price of ocean front rentals just to compare. I was surprised to find some that were just a bit more than the other rentals a few rows back and still in line with the budget. "Granted", I told myself, "these are smaller. And, OK, the kids will have to share a bed in this one, but look there are ocean views from the master bedroom window". I envisioned a week right on the ocean front. We would be a few steps from sandcastles, beach combing, and wave riding. It would only take a few minutes to cart sandy, tired kids back to the little duplex. I could even sit on the small deck and watch as other parents packed their sandy kids, bulky ubrellas and coolers and hiked across the foot burning sand all the way back to their "almost oceanfront" and "bayside" rentals.

I pushed the "book it" button and did a little dance of happiness which lasted only for a moment until I saw the complete price for oceanfront property. Taxes and insurance and other fees added another $200 to the total. For a moment I thought "We can do it. It's vacation and only happens once a year" "It's worth the extra money just to be so close." And then I then wondered what else I could do with $200. $200.00 is a good chunk of my monthly food budget. It's gas we need to go on vacation. It's $50.00 short of our power bill. It's two months worth of water and sewer service. It's a big deal for my family and, as it turns out,an oceanfront rental is a crummy deal for the Walker's. I thought about how I quickly justified trashing our vacation budget and here is what I came up with:

1) Just like anything else, you need to read the fine print. On the surface the rental price between the houses a few rows from the ocean and the smaller oceanfront home was just 40.00 but higher taxes,fees and insurance home significantly added to the overall cost of the home. I also thought it was interesting that the rental company wouldn't give you the entire cost up front. Only after searching and finding a rental that meets your expectation and after clicking the "book it" button do you find out the true cost.

2) Using emotion to justify buying more than we had budgeted for. I'd spent time searching and then was pretty excited about staying right on the ocean and I justified this was enough to spend more money on the rental.

I went back to my original selections and picked a rental further from the ocean and that was in line with our budget.

Will I be able to endure saving for a car?

2010-06-08T18:59:00.000-07:00

It's prudent and economically sound to pay cash for a car but A) I've never done it before. B) it's ALOT of money to save even for a used car. and C) I don't wannna WAAAAAH. It became apparent, very early in our marriage that I was a comfort gal and a bit of a whinner when it came to doing stuff I didn't want to do. Carl type A all the way! 50 mile hike up giant mountain? Carl had his gear packed and ready to go two hours early and chomping at the bit to get there. He often says that if our family had to leave Navoo like the early saints did that I wouldn't have made it to the city limits.

Sadly, he is right. And with my whining comes fantastic optimism. For example, this is the car I envision that we can save for:

Or, if we are leaving Navoo (happy singing children not included)

Avatar Review: If you hate warmed over leftovers you will not like this movie!

2010-06-04T03:58:00.000-07:00

We finally rented "Avatar" and watched it last week. My impression: Fern Gully Meets Star Wars. Yes, the CGI was great but unfortunately for many movie makers I am a story gal. Pretty pictures will only hold my interest for so long. And I found the Avatar story predictable and warmed over. Jaded, depressed Marine goes on a mercenary mission to a far away planet that just happens to be a natural utopia. Stupid humans do not realize this because, gasp!, they are greedy. We even have a homicidal general who spouts lines like "Let's get this done. I wanna be home for dinner." as the at-one-with-nature natives flee from gas bombs of homicidal general. Jaded Marine becomes a native through advanced science so advanced movie makers don't really explain how it works! Marine sees the folly, oh the human folly, and tries to protect natives from evil corporation. Final battle scene involves nature kicking butt and machines and humans leaving planet. If you've seen the final battle scenes in Return of the Jedi then you can probably skip this part of the movie. It's the same thing minus the Ewoks.

Field Days and Candy!

2010-06-01T18:26:00.000-07:00

The last week of May was full of fun and farewells as we finished school and said goodbye to good friends.

Grace had field days to celebrate the end of pre-school. It was funny to watch a bunch of five year olds do egg races, sack races and tug of war. Marshall and I were able to cheer Grace on and eat a picnic lunch under the trees. It's moments like these where I'm thankful I'm able to be a stay at home Mom.

After Field days we hopped in the car and drove to Meadows of Dan (yes, that's a name of a tiny town in VA) to visit Nancy's Candy Co. It's a working chocolate factory where glass windows let visitors view the candy making process. Naturally there's a HUGE candy store attached to the factory.

We went with the Taylors, Brames, Paxtons, and Hales. All together we had 16 kids roaming the candy store! I think the staff breathed a sigh of relief when we left. Here are Ellie, Janet and Delany (left-right).

Grace was happy to wear her medal from field days to the candy store. She was very happy to sample the chocolate peanut butter fudge.

As a parent concerned about providing healthy snacks for my children I never give them giant lollipops.

Children eat candy then hang on rails outside candy store.

After the candy we went to Maubry Mill a real working mill that still grinds corn. It was a fun day. Kids slept well that night.

It behooves a good wife...

2010-05-11T13:45:00.000-07:00

I love old cookbooks! Not only can you find long forgotten recipes like "Clever Judy Frosting" and "Lemon Chiffon Pie" but you can discover so much about the standards for home and family in cookbooks. I'm no historian but it seems that most cookbooks were written for women. I get a kick out of looking at the tips and hints on what women could do to make home a better place for everyone else. Here are some of my favorites gleaned from my small collection and one I just purchased from an antique store for a friend.

" Most women claim to dislike market shopping but we know that in their heart of hearts they love it!" General Foods Cookbook 1959.

Write up for California Onion Dip in Betty Crocker Cookbook 1969 " An easy, lower calorie version of the all time favorite. Whip up a batch for the ladies with skim milk and let the men indulge the
sour cream version."

"It's a wise woman who knows her baking rules." All About Baking 1937.

"The man you marry will know the way he likes his eggs. And chances are he'll be fussy about them. So it behooves a good wife to know how to make and egg behave." Betty Crocker Cookbook 1969.

" The tea service must be complete, dainty and immaculate. Remember that confusion and disorder are enemies to good conversation and repose for which the tea hours stands for, first of all." All About Baking 1937.

PS. I had an elderly friend several years ago who was a wife and mother during the 1950's. She told me she changed into a clean dress, pearls and heels every night before her husband got home. The children were also bathed and changed into fresh clean clothes and were expected to engage in quiet activities for the rest of the evening so Dad could enjoy a quiet happy home. HAHAHAHAHAHAH

In which we pet lambs

2010-04-23T07:38:00.000-07:00

This past Monday Grace's preschool class to a field trip to a local farm to visit newborn lambs. I was surprised at how curious and friendly the lambs were. They came right up to the kids. Grace had so much fun feeding and petting them. Little brother, Marshall tagged along but he wasn't as charmed by the woolly cuteness in front of him.

Marshall is not so sure about this one although this lamb followed Marshall all through the field trip.

Some of Grace's schoolmates learn how to feed a lamb from the farmer.

It was a beautiful spring day. Perfect for visiting a farm.

Kids line up to get back on the bus. The farmer invited all the kids back to watch sheep shearing when class reached first grade. "What's first grade", asked on little student.

A Sunny Easter

2010-04-06T11:40:00.000-07:00

We had a fantastic 3 day visit with Carl's sister and family in Jacksonville, NC for Easter Weekend. The weather was warm (in the 80's) and sunny and the kids had a great time dying eggs, playing with cousins and hunting eggs in the house and yard. We attended church on Easter Sunday and felt the Spirit testify of the Resurrection. Thanks, Becky and Ron for letting us take over your house! We love you guys!

Kids Easter outfits.

Grace and Allie get ready to dye eggs.

Daddy and Marshall wonder what's in the water at the park.

Grace found all her eggs, even the hard ones.

First Steps

2010-03-15T19:28:00.000-07:00

There's not much to look at outside your window in February or March. Snow may still blanket the ground and trees remain naked and grey. However, if you look closely you can see the first buds on the dogwoods or tiny sprouts of crocus and tulips breaking the cold earth. In our house we had a few "firsts" during the last weeks of winter.

Grace and Marshall play games together! Grace is finally old enough to understand that Marshall might need some help to play and Marshall is old enough to want to play with someone else. Of course the play only lasts for a few minutes at most but it's a start!

Playing Giant Hands with hot mitts!

Grace shows Marshall a few tricks on the computer.

We also got a new puppy. We've had a difficult dog year and really almost given up looking for another dog. But our kind vet gave some great advice and put us on the path to a fluffy seven month old puppy we named Cricket. We have no idea what kind of dog she is but we do know she is playful, sweet and patient with the kids. We love her dearly.

Grace snuggles her new friend, Cricket.

In early March Grace lost her first tooth! Nana and Aunt Nat were down for a visit and were actually present with the little tooth was pulled by Dad! Grace promptly lost the tooth in her room and after a frantic search by Mom, Dad and Aunt Nat we finally wrote a note to the tooth fairy. She understood and left four quarters anyway.

Her new toothy grin!

And lastly we registered Grace for kindergarten at Critzer Elementary in Pulaski. Grace was a bit tentative at first but was soon relaxed and more confident as friendly staff and teachers welcomed her to the school. Both Grace and Marshall loved the real tarantula spider, gerbils, and frogs in the kindergarten class room. I was so proud as I heard her clearly say and spell her name to the teacher. As we left Grace wanted to know if she could go to kindergarten tomorrow and was very disappointed when we told her she would have to wait until the fall. Any doubt that I had about Grace being ready for school quickly left after registration. She's ready to try her big kid wings (sniff, sniff).

Grace stands on the state of VA outside Critzer Elementary.

Sometimes it seems like diapers, spills, peanut butter smears and scattered toys will never end. But I know that our little family is growing quickly.

Winter Fun

2010-02-23T11:01:00.000-08:00

It was challenging to stay warm and occupied during the recent"snow in" Grace was out of pre-school for three weeks and we has several days where it was too snowy or icy or both for going very far. Still we managed to have some fun.

Make a Smilebox free slideshow design

Dog Days of Winter

2010-02-15T04:06:00.000-08:00

We now have nearly two feet of snow and ice all over. Grace has been out of school now for over two weeks and is missing her teachers and friends. We've discovered that most stores down here don't stock sleds. Carl has been on a quest since the first big snow back in December to no avail. We ended up borrowing one from our neighbors (Thanks Bruce Family). Carl and Grace have now been out in the back field zipping down the hills. Grandma Walker suggested plastic Walmart bags to go over Grace's feet and WOW have they made a difference! She's gone from 10 minutes max in the snow to well over an hour. We have to drag her back in! Yesterday she wanted to hike way back in the field and wanted Carl to carry her back home. So I guess hiking is only fun one way.

Marshall wants to go outside with big sis and even insisted on putting on his gloves in the house yesterday. He went to sleep last night clutching his mittens. Right now his favorite activity is to run really fast towards something dangerous, like a power outlet, all the while saying "no, no, no".

Fall"Funtivities"

2009-11-03T21:24:00.000-08:00

Make a Smilebox photobook

Wow, I've been away from blog land for a while ( I just don't know where the time goes, ha ha) but I wanted to post our fall stuff. Grace got to wear her costume five times the week of Halloween. Between the class parties, trunk or treat, treat trail in Radford and Halloween night Grace brought home a years supply of candy (does that count for food storage?). Marshall didn't complain too much about his costume although he tried to ditch his hat by stealth during the Radford Treat Trail. Much to his dismay an observant lady found the cap and followed us for two blocks to give it back. Lucky Marshall.

2009-10-10T18:17:00.000-07:00

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Ok, More pics of the beach in a nice scrapbook format. This is as close to scrapbooking as I will ever get. Thank you Hallmark!

More Birthday Stuff

2009-10-06T17:45:00.001-07:00

Make a Smilebox postcard

Chicks Dig Beach Vacation

2009-10-06T17:25:00.000-07:00

The Cain women headed to Bethany Beach, DE this past September for a mini getaway weekend. We had a great time catching up with each other, cooking great food and staying up late,late,late while gabbing away. We also threw a little baby shower for sister Lauren who will be having her first baby (a little boy) in November. Grace came and we had one token male, little one year old Alex (who was very well behaved). It was much needed break. Thanks, Girls

Little Brother Turns 1

2009-10-03T17:43:00.000-07:00

Marshall turned one on Sept. 18th. We had a small family party and of course the requisite chocolate cake. It's hard to believe a year has gone by and a tiny baby is now a full fledged toddler and official little brother.

Happy Birthday to my BFF!

2009-09-10T21:11:00.000-07:00

Yep, my BFF since High School. Loyal, hardworking, honest,smart, deep thinker,keen observer,great chef,fantastic dad,loves dogs AND cats (now thats rare),quirky sense of humor, what's not to love? Here's some other stuff you might not know: he's an artist, runner, outdoor lover, persnikity when it comes to details,awsome troubleshooter (ask him about the shoestring and baby gate) pink floyd fan and really, really dislikes peas! Thanks to Mom and Dad Walker for rasing a great guy!

Publish Post

Embarassment behind the innocuous blue cover

2009-09-08T20:00:00.000-07:00

I was searching for a blank notebook in the bookcase today and out tumbled a tattered,blue composition book that contained a small journel I kept as a sophmore in HS. This particular phase of my lifecentered around a crush I had on a guy. It's filled with lots of melodramatic passages and agonizing "he loves me, he loves me not" and some really terrible poetry! It's awful! No, it's painful! No wonder I was so messed up in HS. Why couldn't I've been some brilliant but misunderstoond deep thinker! No, I was a stupid, lovesick teen that actually RECORDED it!

So, do I really need to keep this? I mean it's bad! I thought for a brief moment I could use it to show my kids some day that things sucked just as bad when i was in school. But I don't think I could even subject them to this dismal piece of "history".

I'm really thinking about shredding and throwing away. Can't think of any reason to keep it.

Ballet, Bulls and Roses

2009-09-01T20:09:00.000-07:00

Grace started ballet last week. She's so excited to learn all the dance steps and of course to finally wear the ballet skirt Nana gave her somewhere other than at home. Mean mom wouldn't let her wear it to chruch or the grocery store (although last year while I was on a business trip Carl let her go to the gorcery store in full fairy princess garb complete with mismatched shoes and one sock, only dad's can get away with that stuff).

She starts Pre-school next week and is excited to see all her friends from last year. We've lost a few playmates to big kid school this year. Grace has one more year before kindergarten. Sometimes it hard being the youngest.

In other Pulaski news I woke up Monday morning to find a cow standing in my backyard, quietly munching our vegetable garden. Our 3 dogs, Scout, Ginger and Rosie started barking wildly. Ginger "bravely" barked from way atop the deck. I looked to Scout, the border collie. Apparently he heards squirls, leaves and garbage trucks but not cows. Who knew?!

But, our scardey cat dog, Rosie, the dog who gets spooked by little bunnies charged out into the yard and barked the cow back to the pasture! Rosie saved the day!

Here is the heroine of my vegetable garden, Rosie. Notice how she's not fooled by the "nice guy" routine Mr.Walmart is trying to pull.

The Cat Food Is Out of The Bag

2009-08-24T15:50:00.000-07:00

I'm no fashion diva. I know that this is a statement of the obvious and those of you that see me on a regular basis can indeed confirm this fact. I pay homage to cheap denim and go- with- everything shirts. My criteria for new shoes includes but one thing: must go with casual/business/formal attire. I thought Prada was the formal name for the pitchfork/cape ensemble devils casually sport. Having said that I do try to maintain a certain level of shall I say, "crispness" when I go out. Clean clothes is a must and from time to time I might just spring for a new purse.

Above you see my current purse. It's seen better days. Probably way back two years ago when it hung happily and carefree on an end cap at Target. But, alas, I purchased it. And from that time forth it has been subjected to abuses no self-respecting tote should ever have to endure. It's been flung, dropped, crushed, stuffed with snot filled tissues, laced with baby formula and tiny, plastic Barbie shoes. Old, mashed pieces of gum cling to the nearly dead liner. A hole has appeared inside one of the pockets where at any given moment a lip stick, cell phone/mp3 player, three dimes and a nickle float in the neverland between liner and fabric.

At one particularly cruel moment a 4 year old girl (who will remain nameless) crammed it with cat food that spilled all over the check out counter as her mother pulled out her wallet. It is a gut wrenching, gritty story. And as I wandered through the grocery store blindly feeding my purse more snotty tissues from my mucus filled children I thought, just for a small moment about a shiny new purse. One free of holes and dirt and old coupons. A sassy, strong purse! But no, that thought left my head as fast as all-you-can-eat-crab legs at the China Buffet.

What I need is something impervious to liquids in all forms, able maintain its shape after numerous beatings, and look spiffy after a simple swipe of a paper towel. A purse that could hold cat food and dead bugs with pride. Oh, and also easy on the family budget. You see pictured above my future purse. Eat that Coach!

Fall Back In Love with Breakfast

2009-08-22T18:23:00.000-07:00

Way back, a long time ago, long before you were born people ate breakfast. Sausage, Pancakes, Hash, Creamy Grits, Apple Fritters dusted with cinnamon and sugar found their way every morning to tables all over the US. But somewhere between a long hard day on the farm and the "beep, beep" of a microwave we've lost touch with our more breakfasty roots. Are you ready to think out of the "Special K" box? "A Real American Breakfast" by Cheryl Alters Jamison and Bill Jamison leads readers through the great and glorious past of American Breakfast. Bacon Basted Fried eggs, Sausage and Cheese Grits Casserole are just two of the numerous and tasty recipes that await you. Every recipe has a story or history that add warmth and dimension to the book. What I love best about this book is the sidebar quotes and actual menus from fancy hotels and the farmers almanac. Here's one from the Culinary Gems from the Kitchen of Old Virginia (1952) Iced Tomato Juice, Broiled Fresh Shad Roe with Crisp Bacon, Southern Spoon Bread and Hot Coffee.

Ok, Yes, I've actually made several yummy meals so far. I served the egg and cheese Strata for lunch and it was very tasty! I also made Derby Day Turkey Hash with Corn Batty Cakes and my family loved it! We've even tried cream grits which was a first for this Yankee.

Now,don't be intimidated by trying to make some huge breakfast for everyone on a Weekday morning. Breakfast for Dinner is one of our favorite things to do. But if you feel like ditching the pop tarts and breakfast shakes one day there are plenty of make a head stuff that you can pop in your oven early in the morning. Oh, and one last thought. Ditch the fear of butter and bacon! Long Live Flavor!

The Tale of Lady Tallulah and Prince Cotton

2009-08-12T19:42:00.000-07:00

Not long ago a beautiful Queen gave birth to three tiny royals. Sadly, the Queen had been banished from here castle by an evil lord. She was forced to seek shelter in a warm barn to give birth. Shortly thereafter the Queen became very ill and died. The good people of the barn rescued Lady Tallulah, Prince Cotton and Prince Blaze. They were very small, only two weeks old. Another good lady in the village agreed to care for the kittens until they were old enough to find new homes.

Prince Blaze has found a new home in the cottage next door. Lady Tallulah and Prince Cotton are waiting for the right people who will love and care for them. Lady Tallulah is very demure. Soon after she was born she sustined an injury to her front right foot. She gets along just fine now but will need to be an inside kitty princess. She loves to snuggle in a warm lap.

Prince Cotton is a shy guy but warms up when scratched behind his ears. He loves to explore and play with string!

The story of Lady Tallulah, Prince Cotton and Prince Blaze is all too common. Sadly, many people don't spay or neuter their cats or dogs leading to overcrowded shelters and thousands and thousands of animal euthanaisas every year. Here in Pulaski the summer is known as "Kitten Season". We have a beautiful new shelter with a "kitty condo" but every year cats and kittens pour into the shelter. In fact last year and this year they have a special "adopt one get one free" program.

The situation for dogs isn't much better. Last year Grace and I went to the shelter looking for a dog to adopt. While waiting a man and a woman dropped of a box of eight puppies, and three other dogs were surrenderd by their owners in a 30 minute period of time. None of the surrenderd dogs were neutered or spayed.

If you might be interested in adopting Lady Talula or Prince Cotton contact me. And don't forget about all the cats and dogs needing homes at your local shelters.

A Trip South

2009-08-05T18:23:00.000-07:00

We left for Jacksonville, NC last Thursday for an extended weekend visit to Carl's sister and her family. Both Becky and Ron are stationed at Camp LeJune (actually, Ron just retired after 20 years in the Navy).
Jacksonville is a fast growing Military town. As the Government continues to consolidate bases more and more troops are being sent to larger bases like LeJune. The main drag in Jacksonville is crammed with fast food restaurants, motels, pawn shops and tattoo parlors, pretty typical fare for a military town. However new houses, and shopping plaza's sparkle just a few miles outside of town. Becky and Ron live around the corner from new Food Lion which is right around the corner from a... Food Lion. So the growth is explosive, at least compared to sleepy, no let's be honest, completely- asleep-with the little "z's" coming-out-of-townhall Pulaski.
We didn't spend all our time in Jacksonville. Becky and Ron took us via boat to a small barrier island. The water was warm and shallow. I'm sure there is some geographical name but I can't remember 4th grade geography at all. If only I could find my salt dough maps! Anyway, this little secluded spot was fantastic. Grace and Marsahll could crawl and run forever! On one side was a small lagoon that was like swimming in a giant bath. On the other side we had the waves from the ocean. And the best part, we had it all to ourselves! We ate cold fired chicken on the boat and watched as a storm rolled in. The cutest part of the day was dipping a very sandy and naked Marshall in the water!
My family used to vacation on the Carolina Costs when I was a little girl. Some of my earliest memories are playing on the slopping sand dunes and small tide pools. The barrier islands and inter coastal waterways are beautiful. If I had all the money this is where I would live. Hurricanes and all!
Another superb bonus about Carolina Costs is the great seafood! Yum!!!! Yes the seafood here is actually fresh caught that day and you can find a fish monger on every corner. We bought red snapper, shrimp, scallops and clams. It was all FRESH! We cooked it all up for a giant seafood dinner for Becky's birthday. It was far, far better than anything we would have ordered at a restaurant. Last year we vacationed in Delaware and all the seafood places brought their stuff in from other places. Super expensive and oh, so disappointing! And, no hushpuppies, just fancy-schmancy breadsticks that were really crackers!

If you haven't been to NC be prepared for hot and humid! At 8:30 am I walked outside and it felt like I walked into a wet wool blanket! Afternoon showers and storms occur almost daily adding more moisture to an already saturated atmosphere! We saw the local HS football team practicing in full gear at 2:30 in the afternoon! Ugh!

Thanks Becky and Ron for a great time!

The Thirteenth Tale

2009-07-24T06:49:00.000-07:00

Take generations of a wealthy, eccentric family add dark obsessions and secrets in equal parts, sprinkle with innocence and ghosts and let stew in the mind for several days and you have Gothic novel ala "Thirteenth Tale" by Diane Setterfield. An eerie story sure to keep haunting you for days after you've read the last page.
Margaret Lea is an obscure biographer who hides from a painful past in her father's bookstore. World famous author Vida Winter has sent a cryptic note asking Margaret to write her biography. Margaret is hesitant as Ms. Winter has a reputation for being less than truthful with biographers. In addition she is haunted by longing for her twin who died at birth and has carried the grief for many long years.
Miss. Winter's tale of the inhabitants of the Angelfield Estate is both fascinating and strange. Setterfield does a superb job of creating characters that will haunt you long after you've finished the book. From the repellent and pitiful Charlie and Isabella to Jane Eyre reincarnate, Hester, to the heroic Missus and John who try and save the Angelfield children from their twisted heritage Setterfield keeps the reader engaged and on edge.

"The Thirteenth Tale" explores various forms of love and family and what happens when grief and obsession are allowed to grow unchecked. Grief and obsession almost take on ghostly lives of their own in this book. Despite Angefield's penchant for darkness a few rays of light and truth break through the walls of decay and misery. Hester, the one and only governess at Angelfield heroically battles the evil that threatens Adeline and Emmaline and for a brief time succeeds. Think of Hester as the Jane Eyre that didn't succeed.
If you've considered pounding a stake through all four volumes of "Twilight" or are suppressing the urge to throw some dirt on the tidy lives of Darcy and Elizabeth then you need this book! (Thanks to good friend and reliable book reviewer, Sarah Coiner for recommending this book!)